One of the biggest problems I find myself running into when trying to whip up some great nosh is the dilemma on how to cook water. There are several reasons why cooking water is a real hassle:
I now have the perfect solution. Bear with me ’cause this is gonna sound a bit whacky, but you can actually put water INTO a vessel, such as a bowl, and heat that instead. I know you’re think “What!? You crazy bastard!” – just try it. I don’t know how or why, but it works.
Hi all, it’s me, Martin Natchoes here again. Some of you may have noticed that I’ve spelt natchoes strangely weird in today’s post. No, I’m not an idiot fool. I received loads of electronic mails after my previous post making me out to be some kind of fool, like I don’t know how to spell my own name, y’know? The worst of it is, the pig arse gits have hacked my computer’s internet web and made it so the spelling always shows as ‘nachos’. How stupid dumb do they think this brain is, y’know?
To keep the hordes of cretins happy, I’m going to do it the wrong way and use this wacky ‘nachos’ term. I was going to write about foods that taste good with ‘nachos’, but I’m too mad angry now. You’ll have to make do with this traditional dish:
This dish originated in1662, when the Ancient Egyptians were thought to have been given the recipe by extra terrestrials. Fact.
David’s away for the indeterminable future, so I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce you all to the guy who is going to take charge of things in this joint. Me. Martin Natchoes.
I’m going to jump in front of everyone right there and just say this; yes, my surname is identically the same as a common corn-based foodstuff. But y’know what? I’m proud of it – it, like me, has a proud Mexican heritage and I will not let anyone besmirch my home country, y’know?
Somebody once tried to tell me that my name is in fact not the same as the popular snack. I said to this idiot fool;
“Hey, fool. Learn to get a brain, y’know? Don’t tell me you’ve never had natchoes and dip before. Because you’d be lying. We both know that for a definite certainty”
Running a delicatessen, I obviously have a lot of interest in food. There’s no better place to work for a man like me.
Sometimes I look around at the Sicilian olives and Milanese gremolata and think to myself how lucky I am. But what’s my favourite food? What tickles my tastebuds like nothing else? I’m a man who knows his stuff, after all. What impresses even a man like me?
Cured ham would be up there, but not top. Bayonne ham, prosciutto, jamon serrano – all are excellent, but they’re not my favourites.
Exotic breads always get me too. Sourdough, potato bread and rye are all delicious, but again they lack something.
Foie gras, rillettes, artichoke pate seggiano – all are put in the shade by my favourite.
My favourite food of all is cheese.
What is a meal without condiments? It would be like a local funfair without thieves and deviants – a vital component would be lacking.
Here at David’s Delicatessen, we pride ourself on our range of condiments. We offer all manner of sauces, some are old favourites, others are spiced in exotic ways. There’s sure to be something to tickle your tastebuds.
My own personal favourite is an old classic that you don’t see so much in the modern day. There was a time when peasants and noblemen would both rely on this glorious substance to pep up their repasts.
Of what do I speak? Why, salad cream of course. Our top-seller.
I don’t know why customers come to us for the first time, but I do know why they return. People come back to David’s Delicatessen time and time again because they trust us to source only the finest examples of the world’s many culinary delicacies.
The pork pie may be a humble food, but it’s something that can transcend that when made correctly. Here at David’s Delicatessen, we travelled up and down the land looking for the finest examples.
And we found them.
If you come to us, you can rest assured that you’re getting something exceptional. That is why we only sell Tesco own brand pork pies. They go perfectly with Tesco own brand English mustard.
Sometimes it’s not about a particular dish, it’s about the way in which you combine ingredients. Certain things compliment each other and what results is more than the sum of its parts.
The key is to use high quality ingredients. You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear, after all. Our latest exquisite combo meal is a classic example of this. With the wrong ingredients, it wouldn’t be half as good, but we source the best to create something truly inspiring.
If you come to David’s Delicatessen for baked beans and potato waffles, you can be sure that you’re getting only the finest Heinz beans and only the top of the range Bird’s Eye potato waffles.
We pride ourselves on the quality of our products here at David’s Delicatessen. I know that most of our customers are looking for something a little bit special, a little bit out of the ordinary, so I try to provide them with that wherever possible.
Exotic food is so inspiring. It really gets your blood pumping and it can fire your imagination. Well how about our latest special? This is sure to do the trick. I’ll talk you through it.
First, we take a loaf of sliced white bread and we insert two of the slices into one of our “toasters”. This electric heating device, crisps the bread delightfully at which point we apply butter. We then have two different toppings on offer. The first is a preserved fruit condiment that we call “jam”. The second is yeast extract, which some people in the know refer to as “marmite”.
Eating out theses days costs a lot and it’s an expense which most of us cannot afford to pay but its a big part of everyones social lives as it’s a chance to catch up with friends or family.
There are many good deals about if you look. Many pubs do a 2 for £10 deal which is ideal for taking the family out.
Pizza Express have different deals each week. Some are buy one pizza get one free. Others £12 for 2 pizzas
All it takes is to subscribe to different websites and you’ll receive the deals along with vouchers codes to download direct to your inbox ready for you to print.
At a family BBq the other day my son complained that he was already fed up with them as they always have the same food, mainly burgers and sausages! So here are some ideas to make your BBQ stand out from the rest;
Chicken kebabs – chunks of chicken, with mushroom, peppers, corguettes alternated on a skewer and drizzled with honey and mustard.
Lamb kebabs – lamd mince mixed with fresh mint and onions and moulded again onto a skewer
Roasted rosemary potatoes - new potatoes coverd with olive oil and rosemary and baked in the oven until nice and crispy.
King prawns – dipped in a sweet chilli sauce only quickly cooked
YUm yum I can’t wait for the next BBQ I have now – where is that sunshine!
August 18th, 2011 | 
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